Crying and sadness characterise children in this age group. Missing the departing parent is the most dominant concern of children of this age, and although it is shared with children in the younger age group, it is more likely to be spoken about. Boys often “act out” and show signs of aggression.
Children may also begin to express guilt, as if it is their fault that the marriage is ending. Similarly, this age group may openly urge their parents to get back together.
How parents can help
Although it is difficult for parents, it is healthy to allow children to cry and mourn the loss of the family as they knew it. Glossing over these emotions may make a child feel bad or even strange for having them. If the child is encouraged to disown the sad feelings, then this may lead to resentment or withdrawal from the parent concerned.
Simple phrases like “I understand how sad you are about what is happening” or “everyone feels sad at this time” can be very powerful in helping your child to accept his or her very normal and inevitable feelings.
Parents need to tell children that it is not their fault. Children of this age may find an explanation helpful, in very simple terms, of why the marriage came to an end.