Here are some of the things counselling can help you with.
- Counselling can assist in sorting out problems within the relationship. It is difficult to see the cause of the problems from inside the relationship. Objectivity will help you to see the overall picture.
- Is the relationship worth saving – is it viable? Sometimes it is possible to work out ways of containing the problems, to reduce the conflict so that you can get on with your lives.
- Will the problems which separating brings be worse than those within the relationship? Few couples consider this crucial question.
- You can start to come to terms with your feelings and those of your family. It can help to understand the emotional process that you are all going through.
- After separation, it can help you to adjust to the life changes and to setting new personal agendas.
For many people, one-to-one counselling is useful: having somebody explain what is normal and help you to assess your options.
Counselling for couples is important for addressing the problems within the relationship. Even if you both accept the relationship is over, couple counselling can help you both to understand what is happening. You can also discuss what is best for the children.
Below are some details of counselling services websites that you may find useful. Quick links are also provided on the right hand side of this page.
Relate - can help to save your relationship, ease the process of separation or provide support for dealing with children.
British Association of Counselling and Psychotherapy - directs you to a counsellor in your area and provides helpful information on what sort of therapy might suit you best.
Parentline plus - assistance on communicating with children and continuing your parenting roles through separation and divorce. There is a 24-hour telephone service and an e-mail service giving access to counsellors.
Childline - children's advice and support helpline, plus a helpful website. Over 1,500 children called Childline in 2006 to talk about their parents' divorce or separation, and even more to discuss problems in stepfamilies - you are not alone.
It's not your fault - a counselling resource for children, young people and their parents affected by divorce and separation, run by the charity NCH.